Not Again, Granger
by thestarscomeout
Summary: "You shouldn't have gotten on the broom then..." "A sticking charm isn't voluntary, Malfoy." "Neither is being thrown off the astronomy tower in your pyjamas!"
1. Chapter 1

It had all started at the start of the year. For some reason, starting their seventh year had brought about even more tension between the two, Draco provoking Hermione and vice versa. It gave the rest of the student body, and quite often the teachers (though they wouldn't admit it), great pleasure to watch the two sparring. It was guaranteed entertainment that caused more damage to the school than throughout the whole duration of Fred and George's stay at Hogwarts.

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><p>"Get the heck out of my way, Malfoy."<p>

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you owned this doorway."

The crowds gathered. No one ever wanted to miss a Malfoy-Granger showdown these days, not after the last one ended up with the pair in the hospital wing for a week.

Where were Harry and Ron, you might be wondering? Currently serving detention with Snape after Neville blew up the dungeons during Potions. _Such a fair world... _ Yes, and it turned out Snape ended up still alive. It didn't get any better.

"It's either that or you end up in the fountain.. Suitable to wash all the gel out of your hair."

"I'm trembling."

"So you should be. Do you remember what happened last time?"

Slight fear, quickly morphing into well-controlled disgust flickered over Draco's face as he answered. "Mudbloods don't deserve rights."

"Neither does a deatheater, now move your overcompensating ego out of the way of the door.. Or else."

He covered up his genuine laugh with a cough then one of his trademark smirks. He had to admit, Granger got him there. Even though he'd proven his loyalty in the war eventually, quite a few still hadn't forgiven him.

"Getting angry, Granger? Calm down; you don't want your hair to get any more out of control. I doubt even all my money would be able to solve that disaster." It was a low blow, he knew, but she was getting on his nerves. He couldn't allow people to get inside his skin, it was too dangerous.

As her eyes narrowed, he knew he had better get out of there, and quickly. Granger had quite a comprehensive repertoire of offensive spells up her sleeve, and he wasn't willing to wait around to be the test subject.

"Scared, ferret?" She queried as he turned around to leave.

"No, I just don't believe in wasting my valuable time." He retorted, turning his back and beginning to walk off.

It was only later as he was reviewing his day that he decided it was one of the worst decisions he'd ever made.

Seconds after he'd started walking off and one non-verbal spell later, he was in the fountain.

"Damn you, Granger." He spat, wiping his platinum blond hair out of his face as he gave her his best glare, pulling his wand out from inside his soggy robes.

"I wondered when you would remember you have a wand..."

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><p>"It's your fault we're in here again, you insufferable know-it-all."<p>

"So it's my fault you threw me at the greenhouses, you git?" She raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

The two were on separate beds up in the hospital wing, being tended to by a bad-tempered Madam Pomfrey. It was empty, discounting the pair, although the racket outside was just getting louder and louder as students waited for another fight to break out.

"Well it's your fault you broke the glass."

"You really are an arrogant prat, Malfoy... and fairly thick as well. Anyone would break glass when they're dropped off a broom over it, 20 feet up."

"You shouldn't have gotten on the broom then..."

"A sticking charm isn't voluntary, Malfoy."

"Neither is being thrown off the astronomy tower in your pyjamas!"

"You shouldn't hang my underwear across the great hall then!"

"You should protect it from a summoning spell!"

"It's not like I expected you to be that mentally unstable as to want my underwear."

"Wow, was that a compliment? No? I'm taking it as one anyway. Unlucky."

"Do you often have conversations with yourself? Maybe that's why you find it appropriate to turn people into beavers."

"That was only justice, considering you'd turned me into a ferret not ten minutes before."

The verbal fight continued, the physical aspect only being held back by the number of broken bones being tended to. Madam Pomfrey had long discovered it was much safer if you let them argue in peace, though only after confiscating their wands...

"It's not humane to drop someone into the Great Lake for the octopus' dinner."

"Well I'm calling my lawyer. It can't be legal to hang someone on a Quidditch goal post by their ankles."

"You're not meant to antagonise your fellow student by charming their body green and silver stripes."

"Red and gold teddy bears aren't the most masculine, I'll have you know."

"Your mum isn't the most masculine."

Draco burst out laughing before transforming it into a sneer. "The great Hermione Granger just did a 'your mum' joke? That was unexpected..."

"Just because you're far too up your own arse to realise a joke when it slaps you in the face..."

"I'm pretty sure I realised that was a slap you gave me earlier. I sure as hell noticed the nail marks."

"You're incorrigible."

"You're a bloody Gryffindor."

"Well I can't believe you had the audacity to try and kiss me."

For once, Draco Malfoy was lost for words.

It was only at the end that the two realised they had gone the majority of an argument without calling each other names. _There's a first time for everything, it seems..._

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><p><em><strong>AN:<strong>_ I don't know whether to keep this as a one-shot or make it a longer story if it's any good? If it ends up a longer story, it will be changed to 'Romance and Humor', but it'll be an eventual thing because it just isn't possible to get rid of that many years of hate that quickly.. Let me know what you think, please. :3 :)

_**P.S.**_ I just realised I'll have been creeping on FF for a year tomorrow! Even though I've deleted a ton of my stories, I'm still hanging around :p


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN:**_ I know I said I wasn't going to continue this, but when checking my email, I saw I'd received a review about an hour ago, and it really made me smile. I don't claim to be the next Jane Austen, but I do like to write. To any author on here, hearing good feedback can be the difference between continuing a story or not, so hearing that my shocking sense of humour can actually be appreciated isn't something I'll put aside in a rush. That review provoked me to think of a fantastic one-liner, which led me to opening up the notes on my iPod and starting to write. It also gave me a fantastic opportunity to avoid doing an English language paper I have due on Tuesday;-) I suddenly realized halfway through that if I added a part to the beginning, I could finally have a second part to this story that I was happy with, and not have to leave it as a one-shot. I now appear to have a mass of ideas I could use in this if you all would like me to continue. This chapter isn't necessarily the most humorous, but it sets the scene for what could happen in the future. I don't plan chapters out ahead of time, as with me they tend to run away with themselves no matter what your opening intentions are. Again, apologies for the massive rant, I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page. Hope you all have a great day, and let me know what you think. :-) Oh, and one last thing? The abbreviation for this story is 'NAG', I noticed it when I was trying to save the chapter.. thought you'd all appreciate that, ahaha!;-)

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><p>She broke the silence after Madam Pomfrey had left with a simple question, unaware of the consequences it would have.<p>

"... So why _did _you kiss me?"

Instead of the furious reply she was anticipating, he looked thoughtful before giving his reply. In a low yet highly impassioned tone, he began a story that could potentially change his life... and no, he didn't care about being cliché.

"Answer me this, Granger. What would you do, if you had the sudden realization that everything you've ever known has been nothing but a farce? That everything you were taught, everything you heard about, was merely the result of too many years of mind games falling upon susceptible ears... That the only way to secure the well-being of your emotional state would be to turn away from your world as you know it, start again all on your own without any support."

Hermione looked like she wanted to interrupt, but he shook his head slightly at her, provoking her to ignore that thought as quickly as it had arrived.

"You wonder about my sanity, don't you, Granger? Well, now you know why. I'm having a constant battle with myself, but realising that it would be futile to rebel against society's cemented opinions of me.'

She frowned, his words sounding oddly genuine and resonating through her head for a time even after he had stopped speaking.

"No," He began, seeing her dislike of the situation and wanting to avoid a Granger rant at all costs. At any rate, it was her turn to listen to him. "Don't look at me like I require a pity party. I said it was futile, yes, but why do you think I'm still sat here, rambling like some uneducated twit? ...Don't answer that. If I didn't think I could at least go down fighting, I wouldn't be here right now, irritating you to no end just to remember I'm human. After all, there's nothing quite like hanging from your ankles off a Quidditch post for a reality check." He ended with a wry smile, waiting for the onslaught of questions he knew would certainly follow.

Predictable as always, Hermione started her inquisition. However, he had to admit, it wasn't quite what he was expecting.

"Why don't you just say sorry?"

Draco's reaction was the equivalent of a rather befuddled guppy fish. "Have you not just heard _any_of what I said, woman?"

Hermione rolled her eyes before continuing, "Hence my reply. Surely the one thing you could do to prove you're not following your family tradition of being an utter and complete moron for your entire life would be to apologise to the many people you've wronged? Society wouldn't expect that now, would they? Yes, you made a ton of bad choices during the war, but you also did a heck of a lot of good. You're evidently not adverse to the idea of making up for your mistakes, and you're never going to feel worthy of happiness until you acknowledge your shortcomings."

"It's not always that bloody easy!" Draco exclaimed in frustration. "I'm not like Potter who can just smile at the world and have everyone smile back!"

Hermione wrinkled her nose at his words, choosing to tactfully ignore his slam on Harry before taking a deep breath, sure she was going to regret her next words for a very long time.

"Malfoy, I don't like you in the slightest, your personality is purely warped and your attitude is appalling."

He looked affronted and opened his mouth, preparing to let out a stream of insults. Her audacity to sit there and slate him, right after he poured out his sob story was unacceptable.

"Malfoy, hold it in for one more moment, please. I'm sure you can put off the various hexes going through your mind for that long. All I was saying was that however highly distasteful I find your person, I'm willing to help you. I don't have a clue why I'm doing it, other than S.P.E.W not working out and me having nothing else to take up my time. I mean, I can't believe they didn't even-"

"Granger, get to your point." He interrupted through gritted teeth, truly wishing he had his wand with him. He decided in that split second that if this impertinent witch wouldn't get on with it, Madam Pomfrey may have a few more injuries on her hands. Though he was usually above hitting a girl, he might not hesitate if it was Granger.

"Oh, right. Anyway, as I was _trying _to say before you rudely interrupted," Draco let out an inopportune snort. Just because she couldn't keep her thoughts on track didn't mean he should be blamed.

She huffed for a moment before restarting her tirade at him. "I'm willing to make a truce with you and attempt to help return your honour to its former glory. I can't promise much, but if it'll keep you from hanging my underwear in inappropriate places, then I guess it will have to do. You don't have to accept, I mean, why would you? Oh, I'm just realising this is the most civil conversation we've ever had... Lovely. As I was saying, we should just-"

"_Please_," Draco pinched the bridge of his nose with a heavy sigh. "Please stop talking."

Hermione had the sense to look mildly embarrassed before she began again. "I know it may not appeal to you, but-"

"I'll do it."

"- I think we could make it work and _what_did you just say?" Now it was Hermione's turn to look at him in shock, unable to comprehend what he just said.

"I said, 'I'll do it'." He replied patiently. "Just please, whatever you do... Don't tell me I have to become best friends with Potter. I'm not really into sleepovers and chats about my feelings..."

Hermione unintentionally smirked. "And here I was, thinking you were doing perfectly fine on that front..."

Draco couldn't think of an intelligent reply to that, so merely settled for a rather inelegant gesture before turning over and letting sleep claim him.

She shook her head in disapproval, chuckling all the same before following his example and settling in for what promised to be a substantial amount of time in the hospital wing.

Well, it was a start.

It was only as she struggled to get to sleep that she realised... He never answered her question.

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><p><em>Thanks for taking the time to read this, let me know what you think:-) Lastly, before I stop irritating you all with these incessant AN's... if I do continue this story, I'll be looking for a beta to help out, because to be frank, for some unknown reason, I tend to write when I'm tired and so my writing sucks, ahahaha. If you'd be interested, leave a review mentioning itPM me about it. Cheers now:-)_


	3. Chapter 3

**_AN:_** I'm still looking for a Beta to help me out on this, so if anyone's interested, please do let me know. You can either PM me or leave it in a review, something of the sort:-) I just spend so long going back through checking when the chapters don't take me long at all to write, that if I had someone to help me out, production would be so much quicker! I'll even resort to bribing; just think about it, you'd see the new chapters first;-) Hope you enjoy this chapter!:-)

Disclaimer: I own nothing as I'm still waiting for my paperwork to come through stating that I co-own Harry Potter. I the mean time, I have Neville hostage. Mwa ha ha.

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><p>"I can't believe you had the audacity to do that!"<p>

Draco's only reply was a slight smirk as he stood watching his handiwork unfold.

"I hate you, I hate you!" Hermione repeated her mantra as she threw hex after hex at him, each of them failing before they even got close.

"It's not my fault you didn't find it funny," Draco shrugged. "Maybe it hit a little close to home, hmm?"

He was, of course, referring to his earlier transforming her into a beaver. In his defence, it was in retaliation to the ferret incident. Apparently that didn't count in Granger's books, though.

"Close to home? I'll give you close to home!" Hermione vowed as she aimed another hex at him, this time going for a rather... personal region.

Unfortunately, it missed. However, her following jelly legs jinx didn't miss, and Draco crumpled to the ground.

She took a moment to survey her surroundings before letting out a small grin. "Perfect..." She murmured, stepping towards him.

Hermione quickly cast a 'petrificus totalus' his way, followed by a non-verbal levicorpus and one further sticking charm, ending up with Draco hanging by his ankles on the same Quidditch post that Ron had been defending only earlier that day. It was entirely appropriate to say the least, she thought.

Sending a 'finite incantatem' Draco's way to rid him of his full body-bind, she stood back to enjoy her victory, listening to his threats as he hung. She couldn't help but notice his rather stylish, Gryffindor red underwear. Indeed, that was a fact filed away for the future.

However, that victory was short lived, as one rather painful-sounding thump later, she found herself backed up against a highly inconvenient wall. It appeared that Malfoy hadn't enjoyed that quite as much as she did.

Draco had a contemplative expression on his face before he strode quickly forward, leaning down, and pressed his lips to hers.

Hermione's mind went blank for a few seconds before reality hit, and she brought her knee up into him, hitting the one place she missed earlier. Sending a massive 'thank you' to her cousin for teaching her how to defend herself, she backed away quickly, confusion written all over her face.

Draco stepped back, his expression unreadable.

"What did you do that for?" Hermione screeched at him, her hands in fists at her sides.

He looked to be debating something with himself before merely replying, "I tripped," and walking away.

"Tripped? How did you trip? You walked forward you git! No, come back here right now! You can't just walk off now, you kissed me! Why did you do that? You're such a prat, Malfoy. You'll regret that, mark my words! No, listen to me! How dare you-"

She was left screaming after him, carrying on even after he was no longer in sight.

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><p>Hermione reflected upon the past day as she ignored Malfoy. She could tell he was trying to speak to her, but she just didn't have the energy to deal with him. She was intent on trying to tame her bush of hair that had somehow, glare at Malfoy included, become even more impossible to handle after yesterday's fiasco. It wasn't like she'd had a miraculous transformation during the summer or anything, she reflected miserably. She still looked the same as she at the end of the war, not including growing an inch or two taller.<p>

"Granger, how the hell is this going to work? We can't even make it through a day without hexing each other, let alone being nice." Draco's head was in his hands as he sat on the edge of his bed in the hospital wing.

Looking over at him, she had a flash of inspiration and allowed a small smirk to cross her face. "Nice, Malfoy? I said we could make a truce... I said nothing about being nice."

He shuddered, lifting his head from his hands to glance across at her warily. She had turned back to the mirror, allowing him a moment to catch up. Wait, that didn't sound too good...

"What are you suggesting we do then, hmm? You can't be the brightest witch of our age for nothing." He smiled smugly, thinking he had caught her out.

Hermione turned to see the grimace he called a smile, firmly planted on his face. She had the inexcusable urge to go and wipe it off in a rather painful manner, but decided to bide her time instead.

"Was that a compliment, Malfoy? I didn't know you had it in you." Seeing his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to remember what he'd just said that could be misconstrued as a compliment, she took the opportunity to carry on talking.

"I hadn't really thought it out that far," She admitted slowly, much to his astonishment.

"But I only agreed because I thought you'd have some perfectly planned-out idea to save mankind!" Draco replied, with just a _touch_ of sarcasm.

She groaned at him, her patience being tried this morning. "I guess we could just... be friends? I don't know, give me some time. It's too early in the morning, leave me alone."

He snorted in reply. He knew it was disgraceful manners, but he just couldn't help it. Draco took a breath before speaking, his voice tight as if he was trying to avoid having a hysterical fit.

"Granger, have you truly lost your mind? Friends?" He shook his head, laughing to himself. "You should know by now, I don't have friends. I have advantageous acquaintances and cronies with brute force, but I don't have friends. I don't do friends, I never have done. All that happens is you start feeling the need to become emotionally attached, and you get hurt."

"Malfoys can get hurt?" Hermione replied snidely, far too tired to hold polite conversation. "I thought you were made of stone." She took her comment to heart and made her way over to him, stopping about a foot away as he looked up at her cautiously.

She carefully reached out her arm, leading with her index finger. One rather anticlimactic moment later, she poked him right in the side of the face.

"He _is_ alive!" She exclaimed triumphantly, evidently having completely lost the plot.

Draco sighed, barely resisting calling Madam Pomfrey, just so she could put Granger to sleep. Put her to sleep for a very long time, he internally added.

Hermione climbed back onto her bed, sitting cross-legged and facing Draco. "So, what's the plan?" She inquired, raising an eyebrow.

A few moments passed wherein Draco seemed to be having a mental fight, after which he straightened, grabbed his bag from beside his bed and stood up.

"I'll, err... owl you later." Draco finally muttered, sweeping out of the hospital wing in the graceful way that only one with far too much money can.

She sighed, and let her head fall into her hands. Seriously, you can tell he'd never had any proper friends. Owl her? That would definitely have to change, she thought with a smirk.

.. And he wouldn't ever suspect a thing.

Yes, she, Hermione Jean Granger, was going to do the morally right thing. She was going to befriend Draco Malfoy... as long as she didn't kill him first.

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><p>Thank you for all your reviews so far, I've really enjoyed getting back to you all:-) If you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave them for me, I love being able to work in your ideas!<p>

By the way, I'm aware they're fairly short chapters.. I just figure that if they're this length, I can a) put them up more often, and b) keep my own interest in the story. I start to lose inspiration and get writer's block when I try and extend chapters... hence the reason so far in this story, these are shorter. Cheers now:-)


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the delay in posting this, however... I've now updated two of my stories in the same day. Wow, aren't you all proud of me? Actually, I just have seriously bad sunburn so I'm stuck on the couch practically unable to move all day. This apparently means that I get lots of inspiration, yay. Depending on the response, I may just get another chapter up later. I'm in one of those moods:-) Let the befriending begin...

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><p>"Harry, I think I've been an idiot." Such words from the brightest witch of their age, truth be told, had Harry flummoxed.<p>

The boy in question looked up from his place on the couch, worried. Hermione had entered the Common Room about a half an hour before, but had sat there in silence until those words. Content to leave her be until she wanted to talk, he'd merely carried on his game of chess with Ron. Now she had decided to talk, however, it didn't sound good.

Harry took a moment to compose his response before speaking. "Are you sure? What happened?" Long gone was the reckless teenager who enjoyed watching Draco Malfoy transform into ferrets far too much, now here sat a battle-worn version of his former self, aged too quickly for his eighteen years. But before you think too quickly that all the fun was gone, Harry still enjoyed a bit of light-hearted fun. He had just finally discovered how to choose appropriate times to participate in it.

Ron, on the other hand, hadn't changed in the slightest. Aside from growing even taller, his outlook on the world hadn't differed and he was perfectly content to sit and stuff his face with chocolate frogs during an emotional conversation. As Hermione reflected on Ron's maturing... No, he still had the emotional range of a teaspoon.

"What's up, 'Mione?" Ah, Ron... he was talking with his mouth full yet again. She had learnt far too long ago to merely ignore his awful manners, and focus on the lovely, charming... Perhaps not. It was safe to say, Hermiron, Ronione, whatever Lavender had called them? No, it didn't work out.

"I... I tried to befriend Draco Malfoy." She replied quietly, staring at the floor. Only once she had sat down and thought about it did it actually strike her. "I actually did... and he didn't laugh in my face."

The second part of that she had intended for her thoughts alone, but unfortunately she spoke aloud and Ron had chosen that moment to be attentive for a change.

"You what?!" Ron shouted at her, his face already beginning to redden.

"Well, I just-" She couldn't get a sentence in before Ron had already interrupted her again.

"No, you just decided to befriend that- that- scoundrel after everything he's done?!" He shook his head, not accepting the truth of what she had done. "I can't believe you would do that, Hermione. Not to all of us."

Hermione took a deep breath, aware that this could take a while. It appeared that Ron had finished with the conversation, however, as he violently ripped the chess set from the table, sending the pieces flying, and stormed up the stairs to his dormitory.

"That went well." Harry began mildly, a wry smile on his face.

She sighed, grateful that he hadn't started screaming at her immediately. "I... I just couldn't keep-"

"Hermione, it's alright." He gently interrupted her, stopping her from beginning her guilty tirade. "I've already spoken to him this year about letting bygones be bygones... Ron isn't aware of that, either. I figured that he'd just, well... Do that if I told him. I'd rather not be hexed in my sleep, if I'm honest."

Hermione bit back a small laugh at that comment, relaxing into her chair. "I just felt it was time to bring a little maturity to the table. Not much, but enough to make it through the year without any more broken bones."

It was Harry's turn to chuckle as he looked over at his friend. Before he could reply, she'd spoken again.

"Why did you choose to extend the hand of friendship to him then?" Hermione was honestly curious, she would have never believed it if he hadn't told her face to face, and she didn't get the impression he was affected by any potions or spells.

He shrugged and didn't respond immediately. When he at last did, it was a measured reply, one that spoke depths about the past few years for him.

"I just figured that after everything we've been through, everyone could do with a second chance. I've done things I'm not proud of, and I can understand where he came from. Anyone would have turned out the same as he did if they had been brought up that way, and it's not for us to judge that they decided to embrace the way of thinking. He could have simply been forced to pretend like he believed their ideas to survive."

That brought Hermione back to their conversation earlier where he had spoken of the way he was brought up. A few moments later, a loud scratch on the window took her attention. It didn't take long to figure out who the owl belonged to... especially not when it had a temperament like that. Removing the letter, and releasing the owl with a quick acknowledgement, she turned to Harry. "I'd better go reply to this; shall we carry this conversation on later?" Hermione looked at him hopefully, anticipating a negative reply. For all she knew, Harry would want to forget the conversation ever occurred.

"Yes, I'll meet you later after dinner?" His response surprised her, and she began to answer before he added, "oh, and good luck with that owl..."

He stood and left the Common Room with a quiet laugh, looking like for the first time she had ever seen him, he wasn't carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Hermione took a deep breath before turning to open the letter that the owl had delivered. 'Granger' was scrawled on the envelope in an elegant script, with the Malfoy insignia on the back. Shaking her head in amusement and wondering what had happened to casual correspondence, she began reading...

_To: Granger._

_From: Draco Malfoy._

_Subject: Awkward greetings._

_Granger,_

_Err, hi. I wasn't particularly sure what to write in this letter, though I did promise to owl you._

_Therefore, this is the entirety of my letter. Enjoy it as you will._

_Raving over my lack of imagination,_

_Draco._

Wondering to herself what the point in sending that was, she quickly grabbed a spare piece of parchment from her bag and scrawled a reply. It certainly didn't have the sophisticated appearance his did, but it held a certain... charm.

_To: Draco Malfoy._

_From: Hermione._

_Subject: Inarticulate acquaintances._

_Draco,_

_I do love how you opened that with my last name... even though mere hours ago we decided upon a truce._

_I did, however, enjoy your letter. It truly did amaze me how you managed to write such a long and detailed letter without, well... writing much at all._

_It appears as though despite many years of the best education possible in Britain, you have not yet learnt how to eloquently present your ideas._

_I'm sure you could find a tutor... Perhaps Pansy could assist you? I do believe that girl could inspire many a generations with the unnecessary speeches that just pop out of nowhere._

_How is this 'friendship' supposed to work when you find yourself incapable of speech? I'm fairly sure you've never had that problem in the past._

_Mildly amused,_

_Hermione._

Having set her quill down, she gathered up her belongings to make her way to the owlery. She would have to borrow one of the school's owls, as she didn't have one to call her own. Attaching her note to one's leg, she took a moment before sending it off.

It was time to see whether Draco Malfoy could handle some friendly banter. _Let the fun begin_, she thought with a smile.

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><p>I apologise for all the Ron-bashing that I seem to find myself doing in all my stories... Not entirely sure why it always seems to happen, ahah. If anyone has any ideas for future chapters – could be anything, more jokes, pranks, characters they'd like to see, anything – let me know:-) I hope you've enjoyed this chapter:-)<p> 


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